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Barbie gets strange in her old age

What’s up with the people over at Mattel? Did they all drink the Kool Aid or something, or has a merry band of subversive pranksters taken over their R&D division?

I can’t imagine what else is behind the release of two of their new models – S&M Barbie (OK, she’s really called the “Black Canary Barbie“), and the undeniably cute “The Birds” Barbie:

Rather disturbing S&M Barbie wears PVC, fisnets and fetish bootsBarbie Doll inspired by Tippi Hendren in The Birds

I guess it makes sense – Barbie has been a secretary, a pilot, a Veterinarian and a fry cook at McDonalds, so why not a Dominatrix(or a bird pecked 1950’s starlet, for that matter)? .

It’s nice to see Mattel opening up alternate career opportunities for today’s youth.

Personally, I’m holding out for Quentin Tarantino approved “Pulp Fiction” Barbies. The marketing opportunities are awesome – Gimp Ken, Honey Bunny Barbie, Asian Kid with Brains Blown Out, etc. After that, they could do Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill. Yeah, that’s your money maker, right there… are you listening, Mattel?

5 replies
  1. Lori
    Lori says:

    I need some information please. I purchased a Frenchie puppy 10 months old yesterday. At what I thought was a bargan. I was in the womans house to see the dog which was dimly lit. The dog seemed to be fine. She was active and playful. When we left she was riding in the back with my daughter, when she said, what is in this dogs ear? I had noticed some fur missing on the back side, so I thought fleas or maybe ear infection. I said what does it look like, her boy friend said “brains”. When I stopped and looked in her ears, I was shocked. Her ears are full of growths blocking the entire ear canal. It looks like a mass of individual warts and crammed in her ear. Can anyone tell me anything about this condition?

  2. Janeen
    Janeen says:

    I suppose you saw Terrierman’s post on Pooper Scooper Barbie? (she has a yellow lab that eats biscuits then poops them out – socially and environmentally responsible, but its more than a little creepy to see Barbie with her pasted on smile picking up dog crap)

    I reposted the story and looked around to see if there was a Dog Trainer Barbie.

    Of course there isn’t. They couldn’t find two living dog trainers that could agree on what tools and methods she should use 😉

    Janeen’s last blog post..Street Dogs of South Central

  3. The Cletus Residence?
    The Cletus Residence? says:

    Sure, Lori. Those are called ear polyps. They usually fill the entire ear canal resulting in the need for surgery – a procedure called total ear canal ablation. Basically, the surgeon removes the entire insides of the ear. Without the surgery, the polyps generally get worse, resulting in serious pain and discomfort to the puppy. Your puppy is most probably deaf and suffering from severe allergies as well. I’ve seen numerous Frenchies with ear polyps come into rescue – the cost of the surgery can be in the thousands of dollars. Whoever sold you that puppy apparently had every intention of cheating you.

  4. Susan
    Susan says:

    Where was S&M Barbie when I was a kid? And we either need Ken the Pimp or Ken the Abject Slave with metal rings pre-installed.

    And let’s have Basic Instinct Barbie …..

  5. ellen
    ellen says:

    My husband and I were just talking about “The Birds” a few days ago. That Barbie is hilarious. I love that chic suit she’s sporting ;o)

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