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A Guide to Wisely Spending Your HST Rebate

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Tax Me, I'm Canadian

Canada's new official motto

I don’t normally post this sort of stuff, but this was just too good to not be shared.

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate. This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government.

I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is Ontario ‘s Economic Stimulus payment?

A. It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers..

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?

A. Shut up or you don’t get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China

2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .

3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .

4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or
Guatemala ..

5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea

6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay
management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in Canada by:
1. Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or

2. Going to baseball or football games, or

3. Hiring prostitutes, or

4. Buying cheap beer or

5. Getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in Canada .

Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

Pit Bull Ban Author Fail!

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Michael Bryant Kills Cyclist

Is schadenfreude ever excusable? I hope so, because I’m having a serious case of it right now….

Ontario’s Former AG Michael Bryant-Author of Bill 132 in Trouble

From the Toronto Star –

Former Ontario attorney general Michael Bryant is being questioned by police this morning after a cyclist was struck and killed last night.

Bryant was taken into custody following the incident and police are trying to determine whether to charge him, said Sgt. Tim Burrows. Police did say alcohol was not involved.

Burrows would not confirm witness reports the cyclist jumped on the car after a collision around 9:45 p.m. on Bloor St., just west of St. Thomas St., and began fighting with the driver of a black Saab.

Witnesses said the cyclist hung onto the driver’s side of the car, which had its convertible top down, while the driver allegedly yelled at him to get off.

The vehicle was driving on the wrong side of the road and drove up on to a curb trying to knock the cyclist off for about 100 metres, witnesses said.

“Lots of people were watching and they couldn’t believe what was happening,” said Ryan Brazeau, a worker with a crew laying sewer pipes on Bloor.

Yeah, I guess this is the guy we should all be listening to when it comes to dangerous dog legislation. Takes one to know one, it seems.

Or, as Kate put it over on the small dead animals blog,

Since the law’s enactment in 2005, pit bulls have killed fewer Ontarians than former attorney general Michael Bryant;

“Burrows could not explain why the driver crossed lanes of traffic and drove up onto the curb.”

Well, duh. Obviously he thought it was a Pit Bull attached to his car.

Canada's First Pet Discovery Centre Opens in Toronto

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Toronto's Pet Discovery CenterIt’s Saturday, it’s hot and you’d like to get out and do something with your dog – preferably something air conditioned. What’s a pet owner to do?

If you live in Toronto, you can visit PawsWay – which bills itself as “Canada’s First Pet Discovery Center”. Think of it as a “Science Center” for pets and their ‘parents’.

Located in the middle of tourist Harbour Front, Pawsway is a project of the Purina PetCare Legacy, a “special fund designed to support initiatives in the pet community that improve the lives of pets”.

“We know that when a strong bond exists between pets and their guardians, pets can enrich our lives in so many ways,” says Mary Siemiesz, Executive Director of the Purina PetCare Legacy. “Whether it is someone considering their first pet or an experienced pet owner looking to learn more, PawsWay will offer the education and resources to ensure a healthy and happy environment for all pets.”

PawsWay offer interactive exhibits designed to teach pet owners and prospective pet parents about breed characteristics, responsible pet ownership, crate training and more.

Some of the other activities available include:

  • How Pets Talk: What does their body language mean?
  • All Things Puppy and Kitten: How to make the right breed choice; tips on pet-proofing; crate training basics and more.
  • How Old Is Your Pet? Always thought your feline friend was seven times his age in people years? Think again!
  • Doggie Dance Routine – Witness a Canine Freestyle Routine to music and get inspired to dance at home with your dog!
  • Weekly Expert Forum – Pet experts will be on hand to answer questions about nutrition, training, and provide general advice.

Purina Hall of FamePawsWay is also the permanent home of the Purina Animal Hall of Fame, celebrating 40 years of Canadian pet heroes.

See video and photo exhibits of the dogs, cats and other animals who’ve earned one of Canada’s highest honors for heroics.

If you and your dog get tired or hungry, stop by the William’s Coffee Pub inside of PawsWay. The Cafe is pet friendly, and serves caffeinated beverages for you, and gourmet cookies for your dog.

Maybe I’m overly optimistic, but wouldn’t an exhibit de bunking some (all?) of the “Pit Bull” myths be a lovely touch?

General admission to PawsWay Pet Discovery Centre is free, including access to the centre’s Health & Discovery exhibits, Purina Animal Hall of Fame, and fun and excitement with select programming in the Pet Park. Some special programming may charge an admission.

Visit PawsWay –
PawsWay Pet Discovery Centre
245 Queen’s Quay West
Parking available at Queen’s Quay West & Rees St. (NW corner)

(416) 360-PAWS (7297)