Having a hard time shopping for your overly pampered Frenchie? Cashmere sweaters not cutting it? Gucci dog bed just way too sissy for your kick ass Bully boy? Did your fussy Frenchie female sneer at the 52 carat diamond dog collar you hawked the house to buy?
We’ve found the perfect gift for the Frenchie who wants to express their inner Mad Max Road Warrior – custom made armour.
$500, and well worth the cost, and useful for the dog who plans to take on those bunnies that keep invading your garden every spring (those bunnies have pretty sharp teeth, you know!).
Actually, since Frenchies are smaller than Pits, maybe the squirrel armour would suit them better.
I imagine you could also have it custom made for your Hamster or Gerbil, for those of you still looking for the perfect gift idea for your pocket pet. Hey, imagine the cat’s surprise when he comes face to face with an armour clad Gerbil? Way more fun than one of those exercise balls.
Finally, for all of us living with Breed Specific Legislation, I present ‘A BSL Night Before Christmas‘.
Hope left it in the comments for my ‘Christmas Wish List’, but it’s just too good not to get re-printed.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The stockings where hung by the chimney with care
In the hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there
But at the North Pole sudden changes arose
All down to Rudolph and his ruby red nose
Clipboard in hand, a breed expert arrived
He motioned to Santa saying,” please step aside”.
A smooth haired coat and a muscular build
A broad deep chest our Rudolph did yield
The breed expert’s pen, created pages of ticks
Then he suddenly called out “good lord, we’ve been tricked!”
“This creatures no donkey and clearly no horse!
I know these things! I’ve attended the course!”
Look at my clipboard the boxes are full!
It’s very obvious to me: Rudolph is a pit bull!
Out with the measuring sticks, he explained to Santa the law
And he measured poor Rudolph from shoulder to floor.
As the spectacle continued Santa said with a sigh
He’s a reindeer you fool! Why must he die?
“The law is the law” the expert said standing tall,
Then picked up his mobile and made a quick call
The sound of sirens filled the peaceful night air
And Rudolph removed – to who knew where?
Days turned to weeks and confused and alone
Rudolph pined, for the place he called home
As the first snow started falling Rudolph gave up the fight
And he took his last breath on a cold winters night
You may think this is funny, if a little untrue.
But how would you like it, if it happened to you?
If your dog was taken because of its look?
Because it ticked enough boxes in some silly book?
Regardless of parentage it doesn’t matter what breed
If it ticks enough boxes then it’s a done deed
So humor me here and pretend this is true
Think how you would feel if it happened to you.
Cuddle your hounds while you have them close by
For some spend this Christmas, waiting to die.
Now back to the story, it doesn’t end there
One more short verse I need to share
Santa fetched Rudolph’s body and cried for his friend
And swore to himself, this would not be the end
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
“The law is wrong, please help us to fight!”