Balloon Animals and Beached Manatees

Delilah says “You wanted kids, you can look after them when they get here”.


Well, I think I can finally – safely – say that both Penelope AND Delilah are pregnant. This comes as a surprise, since Penelope has missed three times on previous breedings, and Delilah twice. Honestly, I figured that this time would also be a wash on both of them, and had resolved not to get my hopes up, not to bother with an ultrasound, and not to even bother looking too hard at either of them, for fear of seeing those distressing ‘false signs’ that can drive sane breeders mad.

The typical mental refrain that starts at about week three or so goes something like this –

“Does she look fatter to you? I think she looks fatter. Or is she just full from eating? Maybe she’s just full. I can’t tell, but I think maybe she looks fatter.”

“Does she seem moody to you? I think she seems moody. Maybe it’s just because I keep poking at her. But she does look sort of moody.”

“I think she skipped a meal. Is that morning sickness, or just because she doesn’t like beef as much as lamb? I think it’s morning sickness. Oh, but last time I gave her beef, she didn’t like it. So maybe it’s just the food”.

This all continues on until about week four, when you either wake up one morning and realize your bitch looks like a small, tethered blimp and is undoubtedly pregnant, or you realize that she’s not pregnant, just slightly fatter from the extra treats you were slipping her, ‘just in case’.

Penelope currently looks like a small balloon animal, carrying her weight out to the side, as if she swallowed a little round beach ball and it’s sitting just underneath her rib cage. Other than some fussiness with her food, it’s business as usual for Nell.

Delilah, on the other hand, looks like a small, mournful, beached manatee. She makes sad cow eyes at us almost constantly, and shoots us looks that say “YOU did this to me. I was quite content to be a single career woman with no kids (other than Pickle, who doesn’t count)”. She’s eating like a horse, and her belly is already hanging so low to the ground that we might have to install suspension cables. We had a discussion the other night, and Delilah made it quite clear to me that, since I am the one who wanted puppies, I am the one who will be looking after her puppies. I, in return, explained to her that mommies who make me bottle feed their babies don’t get steak dinners. She has agreed to think it over.

The two girls are due, quite literally, days apart – Delilah November 15th, Penelope November 17th.

It should make for a fun Christmas…


1 reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.