Satanic Cat iz in Ur Cupboard, Stealing Ur Soul

Cat From Hell!I’ve had cats most of my life, but I’ve oddly never been a real ‘cat’ person.

My breeds have usually been those that more closely mimic canine behaviour – your affectionate Maine Coons and Ragdolls appeal to me more than aloof Siamese Shorthairs (my daughter’s old cat Geordie was a Shorthair, and loved Nicole but barely tolerated anyone else in the house).

Now it seems I have good reason for avoiding those furry little cheezburger eaters – Feline Rage Syndrome! Aigghh! Run for your lives — it’s the angry kitties! Big news over on Discovery, where they’ve revealed that ‘Feline Rage Mimics Human Anger’.

Apparently, this means that cats hate slow left lane drivers even more than I do, and since cats are armed with those nifty retractable claws, we’d best take their tantrums seriously.

From the article —

Feline defensive rage, the aggressive cat behavior that recently led to the death of a California zoo visitor by a tiger that felt threatened, is comparable to human rage, both in the way that it emerges and unleashes in the brain, suggests a new study.

Well, yeah – it didn’t help that the moron (may he rest in peace, etc) was apparently drunk and taunting the tiger. On the plus side, we’ve got our Darwin Award winner lined up already.

For cats, such a drug could prevent the hissing, back arching, ear retraction, claw extensions and fur standing-on-end that are typical indicators of feline defensive rage. In humans, related anger reveals itself with road rage, an impulsive form of anger that involves little or no thought.

Erm, is a cat still a cat if it never hisses or fluffs up to double its size? And what will legions of Halloween graphic designers do without arched back cats to rely on?

“In road rage, the person never thinks about what he is doing but just acts in the way he does because he feels that he has been threatened by someone else and the impulsive behavior represents a way by which he can protect himself from such a threat,” co-author Allan Siegel told Discovery News.

“In reality, his actions are usually much more dangerous to him than to the person whom he perceived cut him off on the road,” added Siegel, a professor in the Department of Neurology & Neurosciences at New Jersey Medical School in Newark.

It’s a good thing cats can’t drive, then, especially cats who live in Los Angeles.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Of course, if you really need proof that cats iz crazy, look no further than the nuttiest cat of them all, Tom Cat – and we’ve got the video to prove it. Gosh, if anything could make you into a dog person….