Bullmarket French Bulldog Breeders

It's never enough time…

I have a number of things to write about, since a lot has happened in the two weeks I’ve been off line, but nothing more important that this – we have lost Ellie, our special girl, and the light of Sean’s life.

Ellie was a special dog from the very beginning. An illness during the final stage of Sailor’s pregnancy left Ellie somewhat addled at birth. She was small, and had a hard time thriving. Barb hung in there, though, and Ellie made it through well enough for us to go and pick her up. Sean was ambivalent – he’d never had a dog of his own before, and Tessa was the first one he’d ever lived with. He was a cat person, and wasn’t sure what to make of the indifferent little brindle mite who refused to even come over and sniff his hand.

During the seven hour drive home, Ellie huddled in the back of her crate glaring at us, and Sean asked me mildly “Is she ever going to come near us?”. I explained that some dogs need more patience than others, and shortly after we arrived home, he made it his goal to get Ellie to love him.

Unlike other French Bulldogs, Ellie was indifferent towards affection. She loved Tessa, staying close to her and sleeping curled into her side. People were a different story. She barely tolerated Sean and I, and would skitter away from us if we tried to pet her. We felt like negligent pet owners, and laughed it off when she ran wide circles around anyone who approached her at the dog park. “She’s just not that in to people” we’d explain. Ellie had a fine sense of dignity, and never once willingly let a stranger pat her on the head. She insisted on her own personal space, and we learned to let her sit her own limits on interaction.

Eventually, Ellie learned to love us, by which time we, of course, were head over heels about her. She’s sidle up to you and butt your hand with her head, which meant “Scratch my ears”. She’d perch on your lap, tentatively, never settling down enough to really get comfortable. Still, she loved us, in her own way.

We knew she wasn’t going to be with us for forever. We even knew she wasn’t going to be with us for long. What we didn’t realize is that even the knowing of that doesn’t prepare you for the loss you feel when they go. Logic can tell you that time is short, but our hearts don’t rely on logic, and there just wasn’t enough time with Ellie.

There’s never enough time.

Bullmarket Absolut Elliemental
June 21st, 2004 – April 11th, 2008

20 replies
  1. frogdogz
    frogdogz says:

    Thank you. We’re both devastated, but Sean more so than I can convey. We all remember what it’s like to lose our first dog, but for him this is the first time he’s experienced it…

  2. Becky
    Becky says:

    I have been looking forward to hearing from you again and news of Journey and her puppies and now this… I am so sorry.

    Thirty years later I still remember the loss of my first dog and just thinking about him and Ellie romping…well the tears are a’flowing…

  3. bots!
    bots! says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have 2 almost 14 year old dogs myself and dread the day I experience the loss of either one of them.

    Thoughts are with you all.


  4. maggie
    maggie says:

    Oh Carol, I’m so sorry to hear about Ellie. I only met her once, and loved every second of that visit. I always enjoyed the ‘Ellie-mental’ stories.. I’m so sorry for both you and Sean.


    p.s. Hugs and kisses from Lola and Sushi

  5. Susan Snider
    Susan Snider says:

    Carol and Sean, we are so sorry for your loss.
    Hugs are sent your way from us all, and kisses from Solo….

  6. Meli Bowersock
    Meli Bowersock says:

    Carol & Sean – I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Ellie. I know how hard it is to lose then so early in life. You are in my thoughts!

    Meli B (& Maizy)

  7. Theresa
    Theresa says:

    Crushed to hear the news of Ms. Ellie. We’re thinking of you both and sending all good thoughts in your direction.

  8. Janeen
    Janeen says:

    Oh ay I am SO sorry to just read this now.

    Close on the heels of losing my own special needs – but OH so wonderful dog – I may have some idea of your pain.

    My Zorro was, both literally and figuratively, a HUGE pain in the ass. Utterly fearless, obnoxiously confident, driven, adventurous and full of expensive health problems he was an enormous training challenge (even to me, and I will say that I regularly work with very difficult dogs) a huge expense and a huge responsibility.

    That said, I would not change a single thing from the day that that snotty, obnoxious, badly bred puppy entered my life until the old, physically battered, driven, obnoxious, strong-willed dog broke my heart in his passing.

    My heart and my prayers (atheistic as they are) go out to you. I think that the loss of a dog like this is even harder than that of an easy dog. Know that she appreciated every bit of what you did for her and that it made you a better person.

    Love, Janeen

  9. deb summers
    deb summers says:

    I remember your kind words to me just over a year ago when I lost my very special (16y/o) bijoux girl.
    Hearing that you lost your beloved Ellie breaks my heart all over again.
    My sympathies to you & Sean.
    Rest in Peace Ellie girl.

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