Small Dogs, Big Hearts

It’s funny how many people assume that there’s something comical about the idea of a little dog trying to fight off an attacker. All of those humorous cartoons and movies have given us the image of a tiny dog, latched onto someone’s ankle, while they shrug and continue on with what they were doing.

Years ago, I had an office in the fashionable Toronto neighbourhood of Yorkville. We were on the second floor, and I’d often keep the back fire escape door propped open in the summertime, to try and catch some semblence of a breeze. One night, coming back from refilling  my coffee pot in the small kitchenette down the hall, I found a man rifling through my purse behind my desk.  He was relatively well dressed, in his twenties, and didn’t seem at all phased to see me – in fact, he sort of glanced at me, shrugged, and went back to what he was doing. That’s when I noticed the large hunting knife strapped to his belt, and that’s when I screamed.

I had Tara with me at work that night. Tara was 21 pounds of cranky red and white French Bulldog. She came to me after she’d systemically slaughtered two cats n her previous home, and while it took us a while to come to an understanding (namely, you don’t kill my cats, and I’ll stop jumping out from behind the furniture and screeching “NOOOO!” whenever you glance at them), we eventually ended up inseperable.

Like most of the cranky red and white dogs I’ve known in my time, Tara was loving and gentle with people, so I was shocked when she bared her teeth and launched herself at the stranger in my office. When he swung his foot at her, Tara snarled with anger and latched onto his calf. He screamed, and headed back out onto the rickety, open metal fire escape – with Tara still attached to his leg.

Down one whole flight of stairs, he swing his leg in attempt to bash her head against the stairs, or to fling her off to a story and half plunge onto concrete. My little girl hung on, and I finally realized that I had a full glass coffee pot of water in my hand. I threw it – hard – and struck him in the middle of the forehead. He stumbled, Tara let go, and he fell down the remaining half flight of stairs. I scooped up Tara, carried her up the stairs, called 911, and checked her for injuries. Her face was covered in blood, but once I’d wiped it off, I realized that none of it was hers.

When the police arrived, they found a puddle of blood at the bottom of the fire escape, but no sign of the intruder. They also found a puddle of water and the remains of my coffee pot. After taking my report, and giving me a brief lecture on the virtues of keeping doors locked at night, they mentioned that someone fitting his description had attacked several people in my area – specifically, in the parking lot that my fire escape led down to (and that I also parked my car in). They also told me that someone had broken into the art gallery below me and slashed several paintings. He was picked up a few days later, in our neighbourhood, after creating a scene at the Schizophrenic out reach office around the corner. I admit I remained nervous for a while longer, but having 21 pounds of cranky little Frenchie sitting at my feet every night made coming in to work tolerable.

All of this is a way of leading in to this story out of Florida, about a Boston Terrier who ran off his owner’s attacker –

“The female dog, she saw her owner being attacked. The woman did try to fight off her attacker, but it was the Boston Terrier that came to the rescue. [The dog] came right in there, bit this man on his right shoulder,”

Never underestimate the little dogs – what they lack in size, they more than make up for in heart.

This is not good news

The AKC’s ‘top ten most popular breed‘ stats are out.

We’re 26 overall, but in LA:

The most popular breeds for L.A.:

1. Labrador retriever
2. Bulldog
3. German shepherd
4. Golden retriever
5. Yorkshire terrier
6. French bulldog
7. Poodle
8. Pug
9. Pomeranian
10. Maltese

We need to start telling people that this is a horrid, lousy breed that NO ONE should ever own, before we make it into the top ten.

Personally, the next time someone from LA calls me about a puppy, I’m going to tell them that they shed constantly, fart incessantly, pee on everything and do crack in back alleys for fun.

I tell them most of that already, but maybe the crack part will seal the deal.

On second though, considering it’s LA, maybe I’ll casually throw this in – “Hey, did you know that every celebrity who has ever bought a Frenchie has had their very next movie bomb? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, though”.

Update: Crap. I just noticed we’re number four in New York City. Maybe we can casually suggest a link between owning a French Bulldog, and having you real estate value drop (or your rent controlled apartment go co op).

Another Jamboree Update

As I’ve mentioned, the French Bulldog Jamboree is JUST LIKE summer camp, complete with shared cabins (albeit three to four bedroom cabins with their own kitchen and fireplace).

We understand that some people would prefer to be able to pick their bunk mates, so we’re drawing up a map of the cabins, and we’ll be adding the reservation details to it once a week, as I get them from the nice folks at Homestead Resort.

I hope to have it up on the site at the end of next week.

Also, I STILL desperately need some happy helper volunteers, because folks? This thing is rapidly getting bigger and much more fabulous than I had imagined. We’d figured maybe a dozen crazy Frenchie folks would show up – now we’re thinking close to fifty or sixty, at the least! Yikies!

So, still needed:

— greeters to hand out welcome badges
— donations for the raffle (you can just bring them with you, but let me know)
— a media person (believe it or not, I’ve had two contacts from press asking about coming out to cover it, heaven only knows why)
— someone to do the obedience demo and talk
— any handlers want to do the pre sanction match handling demo?
— good grief, whatever else you think I’ve missed

Email me, and let’s talk!

I also really, really, REALLY need someone to drw up a fun, funky design for our t shirts and other souvenirs. Let me know if you can help, or know someone who can.

A  few people have asked about conformation shows within driving distance of the Jamboree.

The closest one seems to be the Orangeville shows, taking place May 22, 23, 24th.

Link here: http://www.ckc.ca/en/Default.aspx?tabid=87&page=2

The shows are about an hour and ten minutes away from the resort. Judging panel is not yet announced.

Map link — http://tinyurl.com/cxbdos

Link to the Jamboree site

Kirby's Fish

I think you have to have lived with a French  Bulldog to understand how truly, wonderfully weird they are (which I mean, of course, in the most affectionate of ways).

Cool Kirby, handsome French BulldogTake Beth Thornton’s Kirby, for example.

Most dogs, if they’re going to pick something to be crazy about, it’s going to be a ball. Maybe a sheep, if you’re talking about a Border Collie. Not Kirby, though.

Kirby was crazy about fish – and no, not fish as in “hey, let’s have salmon for dinner’, but in a more Jacques Cousteau, intellectual curoisity kind of way. Kirby, in fact, had his very own fishpond, which he’d visit to sit and watch the fish. In the winter time (when even the most intrepid marine biologist has seconds thoughts about outdoor marine observation), Kirby would make do with looking at the indoor aquarium.

What else did Kirby love?

He loved cheese puffs, and having his dad blow water at him out of the pool noodle (see, I told you Frenchies were weird). He loved naps, and warm spots,  and birthday cake.

On December 16th, Beth lost Kirby to a tragic and unforeseeable allergic reaction. Beth blames herself, but if Kirby could talk to her, he’d tell her that “hey, you were trying to help me – you were doing the mom thing, and looking out for me, just like you always did. No one could have known this would happen, so please feel better soon. BTW, the cheesy poofs in heaven? So. Totally. Rock. Also, fish ponds as far as the eye can see.”

Kirby's Jade GoldfishKirby’s ashes will rest in an urn, along with cards, mementos, and a small, perfect Jade goldfish that Beth chose for him.

Kirby was a deeply, wonderfully weird Frenchie, with many admirers and friends from around the world, all of whom miss him.

He was a little dog who loved many things, but most of all, what he loved was Beth. The feeling was mutual.

RB’s Curbing a Heartache
Tue Dec 16, 2008
Loved by Beth Thornton and Family, Champagne French Bulldogs

Stupidest Comment on a Dog Breeder Website

Side note: As much as I’ve enjoyed the stirring inaugural coverage on Lassie, Get Help, Terrierman and Pet Connection, I’ve got to give a huge hat tip to the Bloggess, for combining politics with oatmeal & booze, and for her observation that Obama should now come out as gay.

Also? best comment ever: “everytime they show Bush listening to Obama he looks like he’s lost in his own dream world. He’s probably all “How many ponies should I have? I think a lot.””

There’s a lot of stiff competition for this years “Stupidest Comment on a Dog Breeder Website” awards (affectionately known as the “Dummies”).

For 2008, we’ve decided to open the competition up to that new phenomena in the world of internet puppy sales, the “I’m just selling these for a friend” websites.

If you haven’t bumped in to one of these yet, you’re in for a treat. These sites, which usually list puppies for sale in numbers well into the dozens, explain this plethora of  pups by saying that they don’t actually breed all (or sometimes any) of the pups themselves. Instead, driven apparently solely by philanthropy, these saints among men sell dogs for their ‘friends’, just because their friends have such fantastic dogs that it would be a shame to deprive the world of them.

Front running Dummie contender from this year’s newest category comes to us from the nice lady over at AmishPuggles.Com

Not content with giving us just one stupid statement, she’s given us three:

One of my faves:

Our puppies are raised in a barn with cats, horses, goats, sheep, chickens and pigs. So, they are socialized with other animals. Besides, puggles in general are great with other animals, but our puggles are more social than the norm because of the enviornment in which they are raised.

Yes, because nothing says “well socialized” to me like dogs that were raised with goats. I guess if I was looking for a livestock protection dog, I’d be thrilled.

Things just keep getting better from there, with this great paragraph:

I also bathe the puppies so that they do not smell like the barn when they come to you. I got the hint after some of my customers commented on how much they” loved the smell” of the barn on our puppies

Translation: After ten irate phone calls from people saying “Why the hell does this puppy reek like goats?”, we figured out we’d better dunk them in the water tank before we ship ’em.

The hat trick, however, comes from this touching description of the rearing conditions over at Chez Amish Puggles:

I also witnessed something that I have never seen before. One of the mothers decided not to give birth in the barn. Instead she dug a hole under a big maple tree stump that was overturned and has chosen to nurse and raise her babies there. I thought that was really special. I am going to put that picture on the website soon. It was just such a wonderful sight to behold.

Awww! Isn’t that adorable? A Pug is raising her puppies OUTDOORS. In New York State. In the winter. Under a TREE. Who knows, maybe it’s cleaner than the barn.

Holy freakin’ cow, if that’s not a hat trick of stupid comments, I don’t know what is.

Competition is open, folks – send me your best Dummie contenders, or better still post them in the comments, and we’ll start the voting around the end of February.